Menopause and Divorce after 40

Menopause and Big Decisions

Every woman goes through menopause. It’s inevitable. And menopause involves such a powerful change in a woman’s hormonal balance that it results in many physical, mental and emotional changes. For many women, this can be a time of great turbulence, as hormones rock an otherwise stable life. They can suffer profound behavioural changes which can make them seem constantly selfish and irritable. So, it isn’t difficult to see that during the years that govern menopause, more than 60% of divorces are initiated by women.

Yet, the cause of this is often not a deep underlying dissatisfaction with life, themselves or their partners. Hormonal imbalances that can occur as estrogen production declines lead to changes in metabolism, and can even effect neurotransmitters in the brain that influence the way people think, behave and feel. These changes influence behaviour, causing menopausal women not to behave like themselves.

Menopause can also cause imbalance in the Doshas, aggravating Vata constitution in the body. This results in excess air flowing in the nervous system, tissue cells and brain cells. This also causes behavioural, emotional and personality changes.

As the volume of neurohormones change, so does the production of all other hormones. As a result, women shut themselves down. They tend to be alone more often, and even their sex drive goes away. Men can fail to understand this, leading to a rise in divorces during the menopausal stage of a woman’s life.

A New Balance is Possible

This article isn’t about who is right and who is wrong when it comes to divorce. I just want to offer another way of looking at relationships during the menopausal stage of life, because not all the changes at this time are lasting. Menopause is a period in life, just like other stages of life are. People go through these stages, and while much can change, much will stay the same.

When men feel confused about what is happening when their wife or partner goes through menopause, they need to understand that this is not a permanent state. She is not behaving like this intentionally, but like a young teenage boy, the chemical changes in her body are causing her to behave differently. Just teenage boys rebel, think irrationally and display uneven behaviour as the testosterone in their body comes to a new equilibrium, menopausal women are undergoing similar processes as the proportion of estrogen in their body decreases and the proportion of testosterone increases. So, while she may be frustrated, and frustrating, and she may blame you for everything, try to support her and give her some space. Remember what changing hormones as a teenager did to you.

Women feel confused about all this too. It is as if life has come to a crisis point, and they need to reassess who they are and what they are doing. The can feel less empathy towards those they care for, and are more easily annoyed and offended. They can be more selfish, and even care less for their children in some cases. Yet, despite this, women need to understand that the way they feel now is not permanent. These emotional and behavioural swings settle to a new equilibrium after the hormones stabilised again.

It is important to understand the biochemistry of menopause, because just like puberty, it a profound time of biological change which is often followed by a time of maturity and stability. To prevent the emotional and social damage that can be done during menopause, you can consult a doctor or Ayurvedic practitioner to mitigate the symptoms of menopause. There can be many regrets after menopause has settled. Trying to smooth that time can help to engender greater peace and harmony in families, and could even reduce the number of relationship dissolutions and divorces at this time.

At Yatan, we believe that by treating the body in a natural way, and when the body comes into alignment, we can live better lives. We can be more rational and understanding, and we can be happier and empower our relationships. For more assistance, or to have a more personal examination of your life and your health, contact us at Yatan Ayurvedic Holistic Centre on 1300552260 to arrange an appointment.